TORONTO (AP) — Former paramedic Peter Carlson is still having difficulty putting into perspective the shuddering jolt he and 79 others aboard Delta Air Lines flight 4819 experienced earlier this week.
One moment, the 40-year-old was looking forward to arriving in Toronto where he was speaking at an Ontario paramedic chiefs convention. The next, he was hanging — strapped only by his seatbelt — looking down at the airplane’s ceiling, attempting to assess the chaos around him.
As blood flowed from a gash on the back of Carlson's head, he noticed other injured passengers, including one pinned beneath a seat behind him. There was an overwhelming smell of jet fuel as it streamed down the window next to his seat by the plane’s right wing which was sheared off during Monday's crash landing at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport.
“It was a forceful impact, a sideways movement and suddenly just inverted,” Carlson told The Associated Press on Wednesday. “And the only mission was to get out.”
Carlson's friend and convention chairman Michael Nolan, 53, was waiting to pick him up when he spotted a plume of black smoke in the distance.
“Are you OK? Something's going on on the runway,” Nolan texted Carlson, not realizing it was his plane.
Carlson responded that he was on the tarmac.
At first, Nolan thought it meant Carlson's plane had landed. Then his friend sent a follow-up text with a picture of his fellow passengers evacuating the upside-down plane.
“My heart just sank ... knowing that was his reality was absolutely shocking to me and really brought it home,” said Nolan, a paramedic chief in a county north of Ottawa.
Instead of just attending a convention about the role paramedics play in the world, the two men found themselves in the middle of a real-life emergency.
Nolan rushed to a triage area to assist in treating injured passengers, greeting his friend of over a decade with a big hug.
Carlson's paramedic instincts also kicked in, even though he’s held a so-called desk job for the past decade.
“I was comfortable with how my body and mind empowered me to do what I needed to do at that point,” he said. “I was able to see the objective nature of the challenge in front of us, which was to get away from the threat.”
Though credited for helping in the evacuation, Carlson deferred praise to the four crew members who shepherded the passengers to safety. That everyone survived astounds him, especially after seeing videos posted online of the Mitsubishi CRJ-900 jet touching down heavily and skidding down the runway before flipping over.
“Even without seeing that, it’s remarkable,” Carlson said, noting he bruised his ribs and has several cuts and bruises on his legs.
“I don’t know if I’m deserving of going into miracle territory, but it sure feels ...” he added, before pausing to find the appropriate word. “It’s amazing. It’s amazing.”
The last of the 21 injured passengers was released from the hospital on Thursday.
The cuts and bruises will heal, but the mental trauma left Carlson wondering whether he could muster enough resolve on Wednesday to still deliver his address.
“It took me a lot of personal motivation to leave my room,” he said. “This morning, I just couldn’t. I was quite emotional about this whole thing and just really want to be home.”
And yet, deliver Carlson did — giving a 20-minute speech in which he outlined his background and influences in paramedicine, the significance of the job and the difference paramedics can make.
Whatever anxieties he felt didn’t show.
Though Carlson longed to be back home in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with his wife and three children, his nerves were eased being among his working family of paramedics and Nolan.
National Chief of the Assembly of First Nations Cindy Woodhouse welcomed Carlson on Tuesday into a drumming circle of healing.
A day later, Ontario paramedic chiefs association president Greg Sage honored Carlson's efforts on the airplane with a certificate.
“I think every single one of us in this room would hope that if we personally were faced with what Pete was, that we would respond in a similar manner,” Sage said. “I think he’s inspired all of us.”
Carlson's trip to Toronto began with a hug with Nolan during a very trying time. Two days later, the two shared a more joyous hug onstage after Carlson accepted his award to a standing ovation.
“I was not as present the last couple of days as I had hoped to be,” Carlson apologized to the crowd.
“Given the events as they've played out, I can't think of a better group of people in terms of taking care of one another in their community and myself," Carlson said. "So just a very big thank you.”